12/16/2007 - And the thunder rolls

I have been awaken to a powerful, wicked thunderstorm and the sound of pounding rain...

interesting considering the conversation last evening. You know I miss Eric so much. He is my mentor, he is my friend. He is always straight up and that is basicly all I ask for in life.

not much more---

ha I am still numb. Besides right now I have other problems, my front tooth feels like it is about to fall out. Shit--not cool , very loose...jerked right back into reality.

that and  sadness...

Everyone BUT me. I still am asking WHY?

 I guess for some reason I can't get an honest answer to that question. You say because of my family. Bull****. You know i have led double lives before. You know I still stand afterwards. You know it's what I do and who I am as much as you are.

Thunder- the power of the storm. The tornadic activity..yet eerily calm..hmmmmm

yet once again someone ELSE gets you in their life, for life. Here I sit...the pounding of the rain, wishing it would drown my thoughts. As I told you the one woman that would never manipulate you. The one that would never use you... would never expect or want any more than you could give, isn't good enough in your eyes to have a physical relationship with. ......and yes that is how I see it and always will.

Go on and close your eyes go on imagine me there
She's got similar features with longer hair
And if that's what it takes to get you through
Go on and close your eyes it shouldn't bother you

You never had to wait for nothing in your life
I guess wanting me must have been a steel blue knife
And when night after night the scent of passion would linger
You had to have the jewels wrapped around your finger
Now you keep running down the road in your midnight state of mind
Curiosity kills if you can't read the signs

Go on and close your eyes go on imagine me there
She's got similar features with longer hair
And if that's what it takes to get you through
Go on and close your eyes it shouldn't bother you

Dancing with the wall made you bitter and sweet
There ain't much you can do when they just lay it at your feet


But you could tell by the song I wanted to be the one
Did you listen again when the damage was done
Now the paint's still wet in your do-it-by-number dream
Are you gonna tell me how it felt, will you tell me what it means

Go on and close your eyes go on imagine me there
She's got similar features with longer hair
And if that's what it takes to get you through
Go on and close your eyes it shouldn't bother you

Was it want with no desire
Was it smoke with no fire
Did I say it doesn't rip me apart I lied
I'm sorry dear my hands are tied

Go on and close your eyes go on imagine me there
She's got similar features with longer hair
And if that's what it takes to get you through
Go on and close your eyes it shouldn't bother you

I told you a long time ago to pick up this CD---but then there are only some of us that FEEL the music, eh?

I am going back to bed for a while I got to get up and work in a while..... good day to you.

I have loved you since the beginning...

I am glad Eric is back right now, you know that? Who woulda thought 10 months later it is this dark angel that keeps me standing....

For everything you are you can't and refuse to haveany relationship with me off this box. Talk about Christmas surprises....I can't help wonder what you did with that birthday gift that was suppose to turn into a xmas gift jokingly.

There is a reason I despise this time of year... I had one wish for Christmas, just one..same one I have had since August. I am nothing more then a fool, am I not?